Welcome to my blog! First off, I want to give a little background about myself. I grew up in New Jersey in a Conservative Jewish household. We kept a kosher home, lit Shabbos candles, and celebrated all the holidays, yet we were not a "frum" or "Orthodox" family.
Over the course of my freshman year of college, I gradually became more and more involved with the Hillel on campus. At first I just attended Friday night services as a social outlet, but then I began flirting with the idea of keeping Shabbos, eating only kosher, and wearing a yarmulke. Throughout college, I took upon myself more and more mitzvos (commandments) and began to view myself as an Orthodox Jew.
Yes, that's right. I decided to become Orthodox after I discovered that I was gay. I know what you're thinking: why would you do that to yourself? You had it so easy as a non-Orthodox Jew. Why subjugate yourself to a life of stigma and oppresion?
I always knew the Orthodox stance on homosexuality, but I was nonetheless drawn to the Orthodox lifestyle. The beliefs, the tradition, the structure, the sense of community, and most importantly, the sense of truth. The more I learned, the more I believed that the Torah was truth, the word of G-d.
And that leads me to where I am today: a gay Orthodox Jew. I cannot "throw out" my Orthodoxy / Judaism any more than I could throw out my homosexuality. Both are part of who I am. Both are part of the person Hashem (G-d) created me to be.
7 comments:
it's cool that i was able to witness your evolution from pre-orthodox to orthodox. sometimes i want to call you during shabbat, and i think, why does justin have to be orthodox? But other times i get to eat shabbat dinner at your house, or hang out in your sukkot (spelling?) and i think that you being orthodox has really enriched my social life. i'm glad that i've been along for the ride.
Finally someone that is a living demonstration that being gay and frum is possible. I grew up Orthodox and initially started heading away from my religious roots, thinking that gay and observant cannot go together. However I have recently started being more and more observant, after meeting a few people that showed me that this is indeed possible (including the owner of this blog). Orthodoxy has always been part of my life and I was about to throw it all out. I am glad I found my way back to Hashem before it was too late.
This post really speaks to me because I can relate. I was raised pretty secular (even though I went to Hebrew school and had a bar mitzvah at a very liberal Reform temple.) When I entered college, though, I became disenchanted with the materialism of so many Jews, so I started going to synagogue again.
For a time, I was interested in becoming frum, but after I came out I decided I couldn't do it. For me, the biggest reason was that I could never worship with people who dislike my being gay. And even though I am very firm in my belief that Judaism is not supposed to be anti-gay, I just couldn't do it. I really admire your level of maturity in standing firm in your beliefs.
Hopefully people like you can make changes in the frum way of thinking, because everytime I visit New York and go through the Orthodox neighborhoods, I feel a stirring in my soul.
Shalom aleychem, Justin! Yasher koach on the blog as well. As one who is becoming more observant, though do not attend an Orthodox shul, I find it a great joy. Being gay and Jewish are two very deep parts of my being, and like you would not give either up. Good to see a faithful Jew holding to monogamy, which is a gift of HaShem. Be well, Yossi.
As an Orthodox Lesbian, I really relate to what you wrote here. I think sometimes people are surprised that I still care about religion and want to keep the mitzvot, but I do- very much, and It's so encouraging to read about someone else trying to do the same thing. I wish you the best.
Welcome to my world. Well not exactly. I am a gay jew, but heading in the opposite direction to you. I'm not out to anyone close to me, only some 'random' gay friends i've met online. I grew up orthodox, but am slowly moving away from it all.
what is it with gay jews and blogs? i got one too ;)
Hi ok so after turning our souls inside out here what's next?
I am looking for baalei toevot flatmates in London UK near a kosher area for a shomer mitzvot household. Anyone else interested?
Tried to google for it but it seems like if you're baal toeva
you have to start eating pig and work saturdays like all the other goyim out there...
pls write for suggestions:
levjonathan@london.com
Post a Comment