There seems to be a lot of talk about choice in the frum gay world.
It's not a choice. I was born this way. I can't help it. Therfore I should be accepted for who I am.
I admit that I used to ascribe to this position, and halachically it makes a lot of sense. As gay Jews, we do not fulfill the mitzvah of reproducing. And for those of us who have chosen to not be celibate, we violate Rabbinic, if not Biblical sexual prohibitions. So in order for us to be considered upstanding Jews, we must disclaim our sexuality as beyond our control. For if we had the power to choose and we chose homosexuality, we would be considered heretics! Who would choose to violate these mitzvot?
On the other hand, offering the disclaimer of not having a choice is apologetic. "I'm sorry I'm gay, but I couldn't help it." The disclaimer puts homosexuality into a b'dieved (not ideal) category, with heterosexuality being the l'chatchila (ideal) in Judaism.
But this is not what I believe.
It's true that I cannot change my sexual orientation, but who says I want to? I'm happy being gay, and I don't need to disclaim anything to anyone. Hashem -- in His infinite wisdom -- created homosexual and heterosexual creations. Does Hashem view some of His creations as "ideal" and others as "second rate?" Chas V'Shalom! G-d forbid! Hashem created all people in His image. How could someone created in His image be a "b'dieved" creation?
From this perspective, gay pride takes on a fascinating new meaning. We should be proud of ourselves as gay Jews because that is who Hashem created us to be.
ברוך אתה ד' אלקינו מלך העולם משנה הבריות
Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe, Who varies His creations